The Importance of Being Harry
by the-hinotori
Summary: Hermione's favourite book takes over her dreams. Even if she wanted to she cannot wake til the curtain falls.
1. Why is it so important?

_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the mind that created this story. My thanks to that wonderful lady j.k rowling for her acquiesce in allowing the humble to use her mind. My thanks also to one of the greatest wits of all time Oscar Wilde. There will be times where exact wording is taken from Oscar Wilde's work, however, I have tried to use as much of my own as possible_

* * *

Hermione lay stretched out on the lounge, looking over her book at the TV. It was the school holidays and she relaxed with her parents as they watched one of their favourite shows, All in the Family. Not for the first time Hermione wondered if Madam Hooch were moonlighting as a muggle. The dentist's wife was the spitting image of the Quidditch loving Professor. Hermione returned to her battered looking book. It had been read that many times it was a miracle it held together.

"Oh Hermione will you ever give that book a rest?" Laughed her mother, looking over to see what her daughter was doing.

Hermione's father, laughed also, still watching the TV he tossed a comment towards his two favourite women. "Lemme guess, 'The importance of being Earnest', right. Or should we now say the importance of being Harry?"

Hermione, flushed, shouting incredulities at her father, while her mother laughed. Hermione wished her parents goodnight and made her way to bed. After a time she laid the book aside, giving a quiet "Nox" her room fell suddenly into darkness. Closing her eyes, Hermione slipped into a somewhat active sleep.

Before her lay a drawing room, occupied by none other than her two best friends, but she was nowhere to be seen. Had she been awake, it would have been hard to contain a snort of laughter, for there Ron was in Edwardian clothes fingering a quizzing glass. The only thing remotely Ron about the whole situation was the cucumber sandwiches, which were rapidly finding their way to Ron's stomach for further consideration. Harry made to take a sandwich from the plate Ron held, only to have his hand slapped.

"Sorry old man but these are for Aunt Minerva. Have the bread and butter. That is for Hermione. Hermione is devoted to bread and butter."

Harry smiled at the mention of Hermione. "How perfectly delightful, they are coming?"

"Yes that's all very well, my dear fellow, but I'm afraid Aunt Minerva won't quite approve you being here."

Harry's hand stopped halfway to his mouth, the bread beginning to sag under the weight of the butter. Half turning towards Ron, he barked

"May I ask why?"

"Well old man the way you flirt with Hermione is perfectly disgraceful. Almost as disgraceful as the way Hermione flirts with you."

"Well I am in love with Hermione, I have come up to town expressly to propose to her."

Ron held the last cucumber sandwich in his hand, turning it end on end, set a horrified look at Harry.

"I thought you in town on pleasure....I call that business."

"How utterly unromantic you are Ron."

"You obviously misunderstand the essence of romance old chap, it's the uncertainty.."

The last of the sentence lost amidst the now non-existent sandwich. Ron watched as Harry partook of another slice of bread and butter

"You need not eat as though you were going to eat them all. Why anyone would think you and Hermione married already. Not that you will be."

Harry's eye's widened behind the black-rimmed glasses.

"What makes you say that?"

"It's a fact girls never marry those they flirt with." Ron smirked to see Harry's complexion pale, and the disconsolate man fall to the chair behind him

"Besides, I do not give my permission."

"Your WHAT!"

"My consent old man. She is after all my first cousin, now what sort of chap would I be, if I let her marry you without the little matter of Luna being cleared up."

Ron flicked his wand, and the ringing of tiny bells could be heard.

"What do you mean Luna, I know no one of that name, it's preposterous of you to suggest I do."

A trouble looking house elf appeared in the doorway, wringing his hands together.

"Young Master Weasley rang sir."

"Good Dobby, the wand case if you please."

"Yes sir, Dobby will get it right away sir."

Mere moments passed before the house elf reappeared bowing and handing the silver box to his master.

"So you had my wand case all this time, you could have told me, I've been owling the Ministry frantically, posting a reward for its return."

"Well old chap I'm open to offers."

"There's no use offering a large reward when the things been found."

"I think that awfully mean of you Harry, if I may say so." Opening the case Ron clucked his tongue. "Well it is of no consequence, for on second glance I find it is not yours after all."

"Of course it is mine. You know it is, you've seen it a thousand times before." Reaching to take the case from the grasp of his friend. "Besides, it is most unwizardly to read what is inside. It is a private wand case."

Ron cocked an eyebrow. "It is absurd to have a hard and fast rule about what one can and cannot read. Depend upon it Harry, the modern wizards life is based on that which one shouldn't read."

"I am aware, but this isn't the sort of thing one should discuss in private, now hand me my case."

Ron extended the case toward Harry but pulled it back before he could take it.

"Yet this was a present from Luna, and if I remember correctly you know no one of that name."

Harry huffed. "Well she's my aunt if you must know."

"Well I must say I find it most improper and unusual for an Aunt to address one's nephew so. 'From little Luna, with her fondest love to her Uncle James'. I have no feeling at all for the size of your aunt, but for her to call her nephew uncle? In any case your name is Harry not James."

Harry's head hung wearily. "No, it is James."

_A/n – well I hope you all like it so far. Don't be afraid to drop a comment in my box._


	2. The dream continues

_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the mind that created this story. My thanks to that wonderful lady j.k rowling for her acquiesce in allowing the humble to use her mind. My thanks also to one of the greatest wits of all time Oscar Wilde. There will be times where exact wording is taken from Oscar Wilde's work, however, I have tried to use as much of my own as possible_

* * *

"But you have always.. I mean I have always.. Of course your name is Harry. It says so right here on your card." Ron tapped the calling card Harry had once handed him.

"In town it is Harry, but in the country I am James. The wand case was given to me in the country." Harry replied a little strained. "Does that satisfy you?"

"Well yes I suppose," Ron began. "Dash it all no old man it does not, for it doesn't answer why your dear little old aunt calls you uncle. Come on old boy you had better have it out."

Harry took on the appearance of one trying patiently to explain the why's and wherefore's of manners to a petulant child.

"You talk as though a dentist Ron. I find it singularly vulgar to talk as one, when one is not. It gives a false impression."

"Well is that not what a dentist always does. It does not signify anyway, out with it I say. If you must know I have always secretly thought you a confirmed Lupinist."

"What in the gracious name of Gryffindor, is a Lupinist?"

"Ah ah ahh. That I will reveal as soon as you tell me about why you are Harry in town and James in the country."

"My wand case first."

Ron handed the case to Harry, and seated himself upon the settee. "An explanation if you please, and pray do make it improbable."

"Well you are to be disappointed, for if anything the explanation is quite ordinary. Old Mr Lovegood, who adopted me as a boy, made me in his will guardian to his grand daughter Miss Luna Lovegood. Luna, who refers to me as uncle, merely as a token of respect, something which you could not possibly understand, lives at my place in the country under the admirable care of her governess Miss Sprout."

"Oh and where is this place in the country?"

"None of your concern, for you are not to be invited."

Ron cocked the other eyebrow. "Yes, but why are you Harry in town and James in the country?"

"As a guardian, you are to be above reproach. It's ones duty to be so. As a high moral tone is neither conducive to one's health or happiness, I have found it necessary to have a younger brother in town. His name is Harry, and he gets himself into the most deplorable scrapes."

Ron swung his leg in a nonchalant manner. "As I thought a Lupinist. I know that I am quite right in saying so, in fact you are the most advanced Lupinist I know."

Harry returned a blank stare. "I have no idea what you could possibly mean."

Ron rose from his seat and crossed to the table. He picked up the empty plate. "Bother! Where were we? Oh yes, Lupining. You have invented a reckless brother so that you may come to town. I have invented an invaluable soul, though sad to say he is an invalid, with no hope of recovery I might add. Indeed if it weren't for Lupin's extraordinarily bad health, I would be unable to join you at Madame Rosmerta's tonight, for I have been engaged to Aunt Minerva for more than a week."

"Well then I shall not detain from so important an occasion, you would be best going."

Ron put the plate down, and looked incredulously at Harry. "I will do no such thing, why I was there Monday and once a week is quite enough. In any case I should find myself seated next to Pansy Malfoy, who flirts with her own husband. It's absolutely scandalous I tell you, the number of married women who flirt with their own husbands. Besides now that I know you are a confirmed Lupinist I naturally want to talk to you about Lupining. If you are to carry it off you must know the rules."

Harry took on a haughty air. "I am not a Lupinist, I tell you. Should Hermione take me as hers, Harry is for the chop. I very much fear that Luna is a shade too interested him also. No Harry must go, and I strongly advise you kill off your Mr...your invalid friend with the absurd name."

"And why should I wish to do that. Indeed, since it is extremely problematic that you should marry, then Lupin could prove an invaluable acquaintance. A man who marries without knowing Lupin I fear shall face a very tedious time of it."

"I will have no need of a Lupin, when married to a girl as sweet as Hermione."

"Oh well then your wife will, it is three not two who are company in a marriage."

"You are far too cynical Ron."

"Have it your way old man."

Dobby passed through the room.

"What is it Dobby?"

"I hear tapping at the front door sir."

"It must be Aunt Minerva and cousin Hermione, you'd best let them in."

The crestfallen elf cast a look as much to say 'if I must', and made his way to the door.

The tapping became louder; breaking it's way through Hermione's unconscious state. Groggily she rose from her bed and sought the source of the noise. Reaching her window she saw Pig, Ron's owl, waiting entry. The mad featherbrained creature darted about the room twittering.

"Pig, stop it!" Hermione cried. "Now for heavens sake come here so I can get that letter."

Finally able to relieve the bird of its post, Hermione presented the bird with an owl treat and water.

"Are you staying or going Pig?"

The owl took off on another mad dash around the room.

"In the name of all that is sacred." Started Hermione crossly. "Will you make up your mind, I'm not going to stand here with the window open, waiting for you all night."

The owl did one more loop and then settled on the owl stand that Hermione had bought for the times when Hedwig or Pig came and stayed.

Hermione tossed a look at the ceiling. Muttering about the stupidity of small owls, she closed the window and climbed back into bed. The letter from Ron would have to wait until morning; she was too tired to read it now. Closing her eye's Hermione drifted back to sleep. Hermione groaned as she found herself once again in the drawing room with a smug looking Ron, and a nervous Harry. She watched helplessly as a disgruntled Dobby led a prim mouthed Aunt Minerva, and an exquisitely dressed Hermione in to the two gentlemen waiting within. Hermione smiled in her sleep as she watched Harry stand, and fidget, in the vain attempt to appear cool and collected.

"Good afternoon Ron, I hope you are behaving well."

* * *

_A/n – well I shall leave it there for tonight. Thanks to those who reviewed. I can only hope that this addition is as much to your liking as the first was._


	3. One good hop!

_A/n – disclaimer is as always. Just a quick note before beginning, my most humble apologies to the reviewer who has acted in the play, and I say this as a form of electronic tissue for your sniffles. However, Dobby is very sound and loyal, he gives a distinguished air to the role, it's just unfortunate he's not very attractive. Ee gods I see your point. I'd sniff too. To my other reviewers I thank you also for your reviews, they are greatly appreciated._

__

* * *

"My dear aunt I feel perfectly well."

Aunt Minerva gave a small sniff. "That is hardly the same thing."

Ron noticed the icy stare and curt bow his aunt gave Harry. "I say you do look smart Hermione."

"I am always smart, am I not Mr Potter."

Harry gave a slight shift of the shoulders. "You are quite perfect Miss Granger."

"Well I hope that I am not that, for then there would be no room for developments. And I intend to develop in many directions." Countered, Hermione inclining her head slightly.

Harry flushed visibly, and took a seat beside her on the settee.

Giving a mere flick of her eyes at the couple Aunt Minerva settled her skirts and took a seat.

"I do apologise if we are late, but I was obliged to call on dear Lady Brown. I hadn't been there since her poor husband's death. I never saw a woman look so altered; she looks quite twenty years younger. And now I will have a cup of tea and one of those nice cucumber sandwiches you promised me."

"But of course Aunt Minerva."

Ron crossed once more to the table laid out with the tea items. With a flick of his wand small bells could be heard and once more Dobby appeared.

"You rang Master Weasley."

Putting on an air of feigned indignity Ron said. "I most certainly did ring. Why are there no cucumber sandwiches Dobby? I ordered them specifically."

Dobby's big ears drooped and his hands clutched together. His head slightly bent Dobby looked up at Ron. "There were no cucumbers in the Alley this morning. I went down twice."

"None!"

"No sir."

"Oh. That will do thank you Dobby."

Aunt Minerva looked from Ron to Dobby and back again with a shrewd eye. "No matter, I partook of pumpkin pasties with Lady Brown. Now about tonight Ron, you shall be seated with Pansy Malfoy, such a charming woman, so devoted to her husband.

Hermione made an involuntary choking noise in her sleep, Pansy Parkison a charming woman! If that ever happened then Hermione would swear off books forever.

Ron presented his Aunt with his most apologetic and disarming smile.

"Why is it Ron, that I have the distinct feeling that I am in for a disappointment?"

"Oh I hope not, Aunt Minerva." Ron said brightly

Aunt Minerva, strove for and achieved, her most haughty expression yet. "Well out with the worst."

Ron, totally unaffected by his Aunts display, walked over to the tea table once again. Had Hermione been awake and witnessing these processions she would have asked if Carpet Court gave him a frequent walkers discount for loyal patronage. With his hand hovering in indecision, Ron felt the boring eyes of his Aunt and decided it was time to relieve her of her misery.

"A most dreadful disappointment I assure you." He said without looking to see her expression. "But poor Lupins doctor has telegrammed me today, and it seems that the poor old chap is quite the worse for wear and may not make it. The doctor is most insistent that I come."

Ron carefully and quietly placed is cup on the table and slowly moved himself closer, edging his way to the other end.

All three onlookers watched as Ron continued the charade, finally after two minutes of quiet observation, the tediousness of the situation finally caused Aunt Minerva to snap.

"What in the name of Gryffindor are you doing Ron."

The sharpness of Aunt Minerva's voice coupled with the sudden lurching of Ron's tall frame, caused the object of his rapt attention to flee the scene with a decided CROAK!!

"That's rotten luck that is." Said Harry. "They've only got one good jump in them."

"'im and me both." Mumbled Ron

"Yes that's as may be." Continued Aunt Minerva. "Yet it hardly signifies. Now really Ron I feel it is high time this young man put himself to the task and decide whether he is going to live or die. This modern sympathy with invalids is most morbid. I must insist that you ask Mr Lupin to be kind enough to not suffer a relapse this Saturday as I quite rely on you to arrange my music. It is my last reception and one must encourage conversation, particularly when everyone has already said what they wanted to say, which, in most cases, was probably not much.

"I feel most certain that he will be quite right by Saturday, if you would come with me now I will go over the program with you."

Aunt Minerva rose to follow Ron. "Hermione, you will come."


End file.
